Rose Petals & Bruises

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Rose petals & bruises

Love hurts when we lose it 

Deep cuts, black & blue skin

I can’t hide from what the truth is 

I won’t lie, in love? I stay losing

I finally know what colour maroon is 

Because it’s been lingering on my thin skin.

When I close my eyes, he flashes

Coming at me with a full fist & tongue lashes

I wish I could no longer be in love with him

But shooting stars won’t grant it 

I wish I had never fallen in love with him

But fate had already planned it.

I’m hiding from my lover.

Steady chilling in the kitchen counter 

Because he’ll probably hit me with a tennis racket

I never thought a sophisticated girl like me would be involved in a love that’s ratchet.

“I’m sorry I made you angry”

My head hurts…

What happened?

I was hoping one day, I’d tell my kids a beautiful story about what love is,

But he kicked me so hard in my ovaries, so I doubt that will happen.

Then he grabs my arm 

Bending me over 

Annihilating my body sexually.

Then he looks at me 

With a dirty smile

Saying “baby you know I love you, never leave me, please believe me”.

♥ Kamiz

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I refuse to write out words
for a lover who
Has left their words  
On another woman’s bed. 

I won’t take me clothes off
For a man who doesn’t take time
To unmask all my mental layers
Before he reaches my bare skin.
                                                       
I no longer break my bones
To build a home
Made of locked doors          
Which heart breakers have the keys to.                                      
I will never bend over backwards
For a man who says
“I have your back”
While another woman
Digs her nails in his back.   
                                    
But I will never forget.
Not everybody who wants me,
Wants me to stay.

♥ Kamiz

Music; To My Ears

You listen to music
Because your aim is to block out the world
Forget your problems
Escape
Feel free
& have an opportunity to be carefree

I listen to music because 
My own thoughts consume me
I’m numb to my emotions
I don’t have much feelings
I don’t trust my emotions

I’m not able to feel the way that you do 
I dont easily express my emotion like ‘normal’ people do 
I could never pour out my emotions 
So don’t worry about me over flowing an ocean 
So most times I come off as cold & mean
Even though it was never my intention,

Verbally expressing myself is something I can’t do
But give me a pen & paper
& I’ll show you
To you, it’s a bunch of words
To me, it’s my emotion
A lyrical canvas
Where I lay my emotions

So when I tell you to play my favourite song
I want you to listen
No, Really listen,
Yea, it has a sick beat and the voice is great
But I want you to hear my emotions…

♥ Kamiz