Made me wait 45 minutes in a now foreign area I used to call home, filled with many unfamiliar, unrecognisable souls.
I receive cold shoulder texts, that don’t even explain why he’ll be running late.
Told me to come outside, I couldn’t even see his number plate.
Only once my lips and finger tips had turned purple from the cold, was I able to see him coming from the horizon.
Greeted with a kiss, soon followed by a strangers conversation, like we never met before.
Pulls up in front of his place, the light from his garage so blinding, like it didn’t want me seeing the truth.
I enter nonetheless, because I didn’t know any better.
Little did I know what I would find later.
I innocently head to the bedroom to put my bags down
Four empty glasses, two on either side of his unmade bed. Two laced with water and the the other two with the Jameson I saw standing proudly at the corner of my eye on the kitchen counter.
After all the time he took. One would think he’d have the decency to at least clear the scene. But it’s evident that he doesn’t respect me enough.
I head back to the kitchen where he was whipping up a quick meal.
The sullen look on my face probably triggered the obvious.
He paces to the bedroom hoping that my math is bad, that I wouldn’t put 2 and 2 together. I stay in the kitchen, trying to pull myself together.
He heads back, like he just pressed a reset button. Finds me sitting on the kitchen counter with my head down, he cups my face with his pale hands and lifts it with a sweet kiss. Oh, how I wish I could cut my lips off.
After I managed to force the food passed the knot he caused in my throat. We lay in bed, He puts on a Movie; The Other Woman.
Ohh! The irony.
I wrap myself in blanket that seems safe. He places his arm around me. I can’t even stand to look at him in the face.
I turn my back towards him, hoping that he’d get the picture that I don’t want to be anywhere near him right now. But instead, he insists on spooning me, being as close as he possibly can, considering that there is a blanket between us.
He is fully aware that, I’m most vulnerable in this state. It gives him some sort of power over me. He brings up a conversation from earlier on that day. “So you really don’t talk to other guys?” all I can hear is the smirk on the side of his face. A heavy sigh escapes my lips, followed by an uncontrollable “yes”.
(It’s quite unfortunate that I am unable to focus my energy on more than one being.
For the first time, I wished I was wired differently).
I dont even bother asking him the same question, because not too long ago, he was telling me that he’s not asking for exclusivity, he just wanted me to care. He seemed so vulnerable and innocent. I gave him exclusivity anyway. And as painful as it was for me, (because caring doesn’t come to me easily) I tried my hardest to show that I cared.
“The glasses” I couldn’t help but breathe the words engulfed in my thoat, somehow I feel a little better. I could feel his heart beat through our clothes and blanket. “Glasses?” , “Yes, glasses” I repeated with a little bit more authority and sturdiness in my voice (I couldn’t believe that he did the same thing, that I do when I lie; repeating the question while I think of a good lie) perhaps it’s an Aquarius thing.
“I’m a single guy, I mean, busy guy. I had a hectic week at work. I haven’t had time to take all these glasses back. They have been piling up since Monda…” his stubble beards brush the side of my cheeks, while making his way to my lips…