Crutch

I loved you, when you were most broken.
Prayed every night, that you would be healed as sunrise awakens,
But every day, you would awaken,
With more and more breathes taken.

I see how pain radiates through your smile.
Knowing that your feet won’t walk a mile, without a crutch.
Eyes oblivious, to what was already seen.
Mind breaks between intervals of time  and space, while experiencing numbness.

And in between prayers of your healing and opening my eyes and seeing you,
I’d sit and think…
“Would I ever do this this for a another living being?”
I put so much time and energy just to watch you slowly wither away…

It pained me to see how you slept on promises molded in yesterday’s pain.
How touch, was the only emotion left,
The only thing you felt.

After all the support and love I selflessly handed to you
Your soul didn’t even have the decency to remain.
The same pillow you rested your legs on, now nest my tears.

Frustrated by how much I loved you, when you couldn’t even have the strength to love yourself.

The intensity of trust heightened, when I held you up, with my shoulder hosting your hand.

Realsing that you really had no where to run.
Forced to engage in more meaningful conversations that opened you up and left you vulnerable.

I valued our conversations.
They helped me understand that small talk will never be the root of deep conversations.
I now vow to never be mesmerised by talk that’s cheap.

Your love stories showed me the epitome of romance.
Through your eyes, I saw the life of a slow dance…

        In Memory of Matshidiso Mopai.
                    31 October 2004

♥ Kamiz

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