I’ve reflected on my Love Redefined series so far and learned that I robbed myself deeply.
I’ve been too scared to articulate my pain, I realized that I’ve literally scratched various surfaces in the hopes of finding solace, only to drown my thoughts in confusion.
I’m scared to dig deep because that means dragging childhood monsters that have now grown into emotional strongholds, triggering habits, unhealthy patterns and toxic relationships.
It also means hurting the ones that I love with honesty and confrontation. Admitting and accepting that they actually hurt me, instead of merely sweeping the pain under the carpet.
Because ultimately, that pain translates to other avenues get released in the form of miscommunication, poor decisionmaking, turning down love and feeling inadequate in love.