Day 24: Seeking

It’s hard to follow your heart when it leads you to a place where your love isn’t reciprocated with effort.

It’s draining because you land up depleting yourself all in the name of love and love should never feel like that.

Yesterday, a friend of mine asked:

Let’s say now you meet someone who is willing to do anything you desire BUT you feel jack for them then the one you love wholeheartedly does not much as the other but your heart bleeds for them

My response was:

I’m at a point where I’m redefining love for myself.

And I wouldn’t want that contaminated with what I think love is because my love habits have been very toxic in the past and I’ve been attracted to people who cannot reciprocate the efforts of my love. It’s exhausting

Because of that, I would rather be alone or in desire because won’t feel emotionally obligated to give it my all.

I have literally made myself uncomfortable in the name of seeking love.

Fuck, I gave up the best sex of life, to seek Self and Love, because I owe myself, love.

P.S. I’ve been having a little network trouble. Farmgirl problems 😅

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