Trapped 2

My heart is heavy 
                                and I don’t want to wake 
up along side the sun…
I want my body to be buried beneath many moons-

               

                until I’m able to find my smile again.
                       It hurts-
                                        It hurts everywhere.
The weight pressing on my chest isn’t anxiety, 
                       it’s my soul feeling trapped.

A Mile; In Suicidal Shoes

you’re not a bad person for the way you kill your sadness…

Each pill dissolving on your tongue, the way you wished your pain would.

But pain is not like people,
you can’t just talk it away,

And people aren’t simple,
you cannot force them to stay.

99 pills at once,

Like problems shoved down your throat.

Difficult to swallow.

Difficult to breathe.

life isn’t easy.

Death is a breeze.

your living pain is unbearable,
And you can’t wait to leave.

Coping, are your eyes,
Struggling to stay awake.

Starved is your heart,
Unable to eat joy.

Confused is your mind,
How could misery be so happy, when it always has you in mind.

No suicide note.

No one deserves to know how frozen their coldness left you.

How their ghostly words
that escaped their tongue
now haunt you-
Like you will now haunt them.

You’ve managed to stop the world from spinning.

Slowly floating away.

Never felt anything so great.

Embracing you body for the fight, maybe now, it too, will understand the scars you placed above every vain.

It too, will fully feel the pain you’ve been exposed to.

You hoping nothing goes wrong, because it’s way too right.

So light as a feather,
is this moment.
Unable to feel the ground.

You feel rest,
Drowning in peace.

As your troubled soul escapes from you

Happy,

That no one is nearby to save you.

Happiness like this doesn’t last
It turns into pain of the past.

you clinch every single part of you.

Then finally

With your last breath

YOU.ARE.FREE

Lonely Man

He was a lonely man.
I could tell by the way he wanted me all to himself.
He held me,
Like he held hope.
But his eyes were wondering somewhere else.

He is stuck.
And I am unable to move.
Both entangled in false hope.
I need him to be somebody.
He is too stuck in depression.
He doesn’t need me.
He needs we.
But we is me.

We don’t vibrate to the same frequency. I’ve learned my way around loneliness.
He hasn’t.
He is trying to use my presence as a crutch to support his unfulfilled yearning.

I was light,
But he still remained in darkness.
In fear of what might lurk.
He placed his love in many hearts,
To fulfil his every need.
Wasn’t afraid of the dark because, Darkness was He.

♥ Kamiz