Sinful White Linen

Laying in sinfully white linen,

Covering the remains of my body,

Which are drenched in sex and loneliness.

 

Unable to fathom the debt I paid for love,

Because no one is able to hold me once you’re gone.

Not only am I swimming in your sweat,

I’m drowning in thoughts of you,

Unable to utter another man’s name.

Unable to spit out the sins I effortlessly swallowed last night.

Unable to get you out of my head…

 

Because the Coffee I wanted so bad,

Landed up being the Coffin I eagerly buried myself in.

 

I can’t help but reminisce about how bad I longed for your kiss,

The same kiss which happened to suck out my soul, along with my logic.

I am as unfamiliar with my surroundings as I am to myself.

 

A constellation of regret lays swift on my window seal,

As I did on the bed, waiting to be consumed by your darkness,

Because the stars and I aren’t strangers to the one thing that makes us Come alive…

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I Wanted Coffee…

A passionate history of empty promises,

In the chamber of moments never written,

I was waiting for you…

Your presence

poured out like perfume –

No wonder I adored you so much.

Just wanting you to look at me once more…

Just look at me like love.

And like a break from war,

I accept you with open arms wide open,

Just glad that you’re breathing again,

And glad that you’re whole.

 

 

Now I am everything depicting broken because it is my heart that you stole.

Now here you are…

And I am unable to feel my own hollow; due to the illusion that you make me whole.

Waking up next to you, with the smell of coffee brewing parallel to morning dust.

Coffee synonymous to lust

At this moment, I am unable to differentiate between love and lust.

I’ve avoided so many potential heartbreaks

Yet I still want to face your heads on.

Upon preparation for this moment

I specifically said I wanted coffee.

And not coffee in the morning.

But Coffee as a gesture.

A simple gesture to show that you care.

 

I want you…


“I fucken want you and I want to be about you.”

Shouted out to the man of my dreams.

The man created by me in my head.

He lives.

He’s real.

He owns his body,

But the rest of him was created by me.

And I want him!

Dammit, I want him SO bad…

I wanna wrap my legs around him

And dig my fingers into him.
First time I woke thinking about someone either than me,

There’s no reason for us not to be together 

Besides the fact that he’s acting up…

I want to be around him.

I want our bodies in such close proximity that our bodies confuse sweat.

I want him and I want him in every possible way there is to want a human

Bare in mind that I want him, not need him,

And if he doesn’t want to be wanted in every possible way,

He should Allow me to leave.

I’ll take my heart with me and learn to bare a little less the next time….

I don’t do intimacy with strangers 

And although they don’t know the depths of my soul 

Parts of them wonder about me when they’re alone

Lip locking with my chakras 

Because their “hellos” don’t sound like echoes 

There’s more behind it

It’s not emptiness built on nothings.
And although I may not want anything  to do with the person

Parts of me remain

Where we last met

Holding parts of what’s left

Because I know they’ll return 

No one wants to leave remains of themselves 

At places that don’t feel like home

Do you put a time limit on sex?

Just based off meeting a guy for the first time, there is a physical attraction that is sparked. That happens way before you know his name, find out his age, and get a sneak peek of his personality. Your eyes focus on what you see in this man: the tattoos drawn on his arms, the type of clothing he has on, and his interaction with his friends. And if you decide to approach him that night or make conversation as he makes his way over to you, it will solely be based on the power of physical attraction. Hopefully, months down the line a relationship can be created way beyond the physical connection. Things become way more serious, future plans are discussed, make out sessions become longer and more revealing. As a woman, you tease your mate, just enough to keep him wondering. But you know sooner or later, sex is going to become apart of your relationship. The question is, “When is the right time to have sex?”

A woman always tries to set a time limit when it comes to sex. It is no longer a private and intimate interaction. It’s more of an open book or public conversation. It is talked about freely, shared on television shows, and not really taken as a big deal.

We overanalyze how a guy will react, the day that we decide to give him a part of ourselves. Holding off can show him how much you respect your body and the relationship. A man does not want to be with a woman that “every other” man has had a piece of. But being realistic, in the year of 2014, who waits anymore? And if you do decide to wait, are you frowned upon?

Does the guy still think of that interaction as a special moment shared between each other? Has it become so easy for a guy to nut, pull up his pants, and walk out the door? Or has woman made it easier for a man to get whatever he wants? Has woman shoved her emotions unto a man hoping that he’ll be the one to save her, once she sleeps with him? And are there guys out there that still wait until wedding night, to enter into a woman?

Those questions are only a few, where I actually become clueless. Each gender has such a different perspective on sex that it makes it seem like it would be impossible to agree on.

Anyway, back to some key points.

By holding out on sex, you get to have a stronger connection through everything that happens in the relationship. It is possible to have a successful relationship without a sexual interaction, but you’ll still think about it from time to time. I do believe that it can show a guy how much you respect your body by not giving in so fast, and it creates a sense of mystery about the woman. Because he does not actually know how it is to be with you sexually, he’s going to desire it a little bit more. But holding out can also make you think if he’s not getting it from you, that your connection isn’t strong enough and he may stray elsewhere.

When I brought this up to a few girlfriends, I got an overall amount of mixed emotions. Not that it is hard to actually put a time limit, but when you are so attracted to someone, you want to show them. Most of my girlfriends are ready to be married, so waiting as long as they can for the “right” one is more rewarding. But I know girlfriends that have had sex on the first date, and still have a successful relationship with their men.

So that makes me wonder, does a time limit really matter when referring to sex? Are there a different set of rules for each guy you mess with? Or should the same rules apply to any type of guy?

Devika

Originally posted on From A Wildflower