Skin

He’s a real awful person
For bringing her to tears,
For how her skin wraps around her soul.

She tells me how she thanked you,
For never being there.
Your absence forced her to find her own way.

It’s amazing how unstoppable a woman becomes,
After she is comfortable in her own skin.

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Crutch

I loved you, when you were most broken.
Prayed every night, that you would be healed as sunrise awakens,
But every day, you would awaken,
With more and more breathes taken.

I see how pain radiates through your smile.
Knowing that your feet won’t walk a mile, without a crutch.
Eyes oblivious, to what was already seen.
Mind breaks between intervals of time  and space, while experiencing numbness.

And in between prayers of your healing and opening my eyes and seeing you,
I’d sit and think…
“Would I ever do this this for a another living being?”
I put so much time and energy just to watch you slowly wither away…

It pained me to see how you slept on promises molded in yesterday’s pain.
How touch, was the only emotion left,
The only thing you felt.

After all the support and love I selflessly handed to you
Your soul didn’t even have the decency to remain.
The same pillow you rested your legs on, now nest my tears.

Frustrated by how much I loved you, when you couldn’t even have the strength to love yourself.

The intensity of trust heightened, when I held you up, with my shoulder hosting your hand.

Realsing that you really had no where to run.
Forced to engage in more meaningful conversations that opened you up and left you vulnerable.

I valued our conversations.
They helped me understand that small talk will never be the root of deep conversations.
I now vow to never be mesmerised by talk that’s cheap.

Your love stories showed me the epitome of romance.
Through your eyes, I saw the life of a slow dance…

        In Memory of Matshidiso Mopai.
                    31 October 2004

♥ Kamiz

When I Became A Man – Caleb Jones

When I became a man
I put away childish things
But before I became a man
I didn’t always fit the shoes of a King
I was a child trying to find his way
The toys I played with kept my eyes occupied
And left my eyes in a lustful boyish frenzy
My playmates had long legs, short skirts and soft skin
They cared enough to lie down and wallow with me often
Jezebel turned out to be my very best friend
I’d look in her eyes before ever seeing the sunrise
Every time I paid her a visit and slept in

Before I became a man
I saw how God made Adam from dust
So likewise I tried to make love out of lust
I didn’t know any better
I was taught by example
“Let your mouth spit game, but never let your heart say much, ”
I treated his daughters like beauty pageant contestants
There would be zero return on their investments
Proverbs 31 was never a criterion for my selection
Keep in mind this was before I became a man

Before I became a man
I would unlock my curse and throw away the key
I allowed anger to set up a construction company inside
Bitterness never rested
It left no time wasted
Whether Father loved me or not
All I could regurgitate was hatred
I became allergic to showing any form of compassion

Before I became a man
I was much shorter
Not just in height but in spiritual insight
Because I never had a picture
Nor did Pixar ever have a film
Showing me what God’s man really looked like

But when I became man
Oh, When I became a man
I learned how to love Father God right back
Even though I’m good at falling short of the glory
I reflect on my story
Through my praise I’ll self publish a testimony

When I became a man
I learned how to cry
Because I’m not ashamed of my tears
Since I became a man
I’m not longer afraid of the dark
I’ll wrap my hands around James 5: 16
Confess, Pray, and Heal my Heart

I have discovered something
That there are medicinal qualities
Right down the corridor of introspection
When I became a man
I learned how to love her
My Esther, My Ruth
I learned how to honor her like she was Jesus’ mother
Because one day she’ll be pregnant
With the seed that will transport my legacy
So that my God and my name will both have longevity
Even after they bury me

I could not love her before
Because I was not able
My insecurities and my perfectionism had me
Looking in on the next best player
That was checking in at the scorer’s table
How could I possibly be her covering?
When I was an umbrella with holes in it
But I learned to love her like I ought to
Because I want Him to be my Father and my Father-in-law
Since that’s his daughter

When I became a man
I learned to love my brother
I’ll share my heart, my hug and my hallelujah
Because a hug and a hallelujah without my heart
Leaves room for his spirit to respond with “I never knew you”
I became a man so that when he became a man
He would know a man
Who picked up the gospel and put the toys away

When I became a man