Moonchild

Because I am just a moon
And among you,
Are many stars
Shinning far brighter than I ever could

In the midst of the brightest one
I fall
And stay away
Until she leaves again

Then I creep up with Rest…

She even shines her light on me.
What I did I do to deserve such grace,
Because all I bring is darkness
But yet she still awaits..

I do nothing
But wade across the sky
And very frequently
I collide with her-
Eclipsing
Once in a life time for some.

I am darkness
And in that very darkness,
I am
A resting place.
A hiding place.
A place of hope.
A place for peace.

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My solitude grows out of my clothes…

It knows no bounds

I am unable to shake hands or give hugs to those I’d love to hold.

I then create beauty in spaces which I no longer allow them to occupy,

Because my art does not derive from human interaction,

but rather the hollows they leave behind…

14/03/2016

My heart has taken a lot of blows in one month alone
It’s too heavy to carry
I just pounce around like I’m unaffected 

convincing myself nothing is wrong

I wake up and all I can think is
“I fasted- my faith should be stronger than ever…

Things of the flesh will not affect me.”
So I don’t bother unpacking my tears 

And I don’t allow myself to feel the tides brush up on cheeks.
But there’s always that one moment where you choke, and oxygen becomes hard to swallow 
That moment of release feels so so sweet

Where all facial fluids release, 

where exhaling occurs after every short 5-8 inhales 

And everything about crying feels so damn good…

You don’t want to stop –

Just like the bad things don’t.

Trapped 2

My heart is heavy 
                                and I don’t want to wake 
up along side the sun…
I want my body to be buried beneath many moons-

               

                until I’m able to find my smile again.
                       It hurts-
                                        It hurts everywhere.
The weight pressing on my chest isn’t anxiety, 
                       it’s my soul feeling trapped.

A Mile; In Suicidal Shoes

you’re not a bad person for the way you kill your sadness…

Each pill dissolving on your tongue, the way you wished your pain would.

But pain is not like people,
you can’t just talk it away,

And people aren’t simple,
you cannot force them to stay.

99 pills at once,

Like problems shoved down your throat.

Difficult to swallow.

Difficult to breathe.

life isn’t easy.

Death is a breeze.

your living pain is unbearable,
And you can’t wait to leave.

Coping, are your eyes,
Struggling to stay awake.

Starved is your heart,
Unable to eat joy.

Confused is your mind,
How could misery be so happy, when it always has you in mind.

No suicide note.

No one deserves to know how frozen their coldness left you.

How their ghostly words
that escaped their tongue
now haunt you-
Like you will now haunt them.

You’ve managed to stop the world from spinning.

Slowly floating away.

Never felt anything so great.

Embracing you body for the fight, maybe now, it too, will understand the scars you placed above every vain.

It too, will fully feel the pain you’ve been exposed to.

You hoping nothing goes wrong, because it’s way too right.

So light as a feather,
is this moment.
Unable to feel the ground.

You feel rest,
Drowning in peace.

As your troubled soul escapes from you

Happy,

That no one is nearby to save you.

Happiness like this doesn’t last
It turns into pain of the past.

you clinch every single part of you.

Then finally

With your last breath

YOU.ARE.FREE