My solitude grows out of my clothes…

It knows no bounds

I am unable to shake hands or give hugs to those I’d love to hold.

I then create beauty in spaces which I no longer allow them to occupy,

Because my art does not derived from human interaction,

but rather the hollows they leave behind…

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Quote

Emotion is not meant to feel like war

words deployed during the hardest of times, when butterflies and tongue ties wouldn’t allow me to let you know how I feel… they don’t even bother to last long enough to form a sentence.

Sinful White Linen

Laying in sinfully white linen,

Covering the remains of my body,

Which are drenched in sex and loneliness.

Unable to fathom the debt I paid for love,

Because no one is able to hold me once you’re gone.

Not only am I swimming in your sweat,

I’m drowning in thoughts of you,

Unable to utter another man’s name.

Unable to spit out the sins I effortlessly swallowed last night.

Unable to get you out of my head…

Because the Coffee I wanted so bad,

Landed up being the Coffin I eagerly buried myself in.

I can’t help but reminisce about how bad I longed for your kiss,

The same kiss which happened to suck out my soul, along with my logic.

I am as unfamiliar with my surroundings as I am to myself.

A constellation of regret lays swift the window seal,

As I did on the bed, waiting to be consumed by your darkness,

Because the stars and I aren’t strangers to the one thing that makes us Come alive…

14/03/2016

My heart has taken a lot of blows in one month alone
It’s too heavy to carry
I just pounce around like I’m unaffected 

convincing myself nothing is wrong

I wake up and all I can think is
“I fasted- my faith should be stronger than ever…

Things of the flesh will not affect me.”
So I don’t bother unpacking my tears 

And I don’t allow myself to feel the tides brush up on cheeks.
But there’s always that one moment where you choke, and oxygen becomes hard to swallow 
That moment of release feels so so sweet

Where all facial fluids release, 

where exhaling occurs after every short 5-8 inhales 

And everything about crying feels so damn good…

You don’t want to stop –

Just like the bad things don’t.