I love myself enough for it to over shadow the love I initially thought I needed from others.
I don’t want to be addicted to love.
I don’t want to be so exposed,
That I no longer know how it feels to live without it.
I don’t want to feel the aftermath of a dying love.
I destroy every soul I am close enough to touch.
Sometimes I get really jealous of people who have the pleasure of writing everyday.
They get to release their burdens and improve their art -I just feel stuck and occasionally stupid.
Having an overflow of emotions and not being to release it, is frustrating.
My words come out like scribbles.
No one knows what they mean.
I’m unable to connect.
I can no longer turn to words
When the sky is draped in black
And I’m no longer in need of sleep…
You’re the real meaning of staying but leaving.
A cross between a hurricane and tremor infused in water.
But you’re not a disaster,
And you don’t cause one,
But somehow those around your feel the aftermath of your presence,
And It’s not as pretty as you look.
You wonder why people who love you, never want you to stay.
You wonder why they say you keep pushing them away.
There’s just something about you that doesn’t scream “safe”.
I have not met you,
But I assure you that your words have been polite.
You have taught them well.
Your words cling to my tongue
They grip me
See, my words no longer heal me.
I can no longer feast upon my words.
My words don’t even greet me.
They hate me.
But I need words.
I need your words.
They have told me all about you,
The storms in your eyes,
Your crooked smile,
Your words are warmer than mine,
Even though you’re more broken than the ocean,
Your words heal me.
But more than anything,
I can tell they’ve been birthed by pain,
And mother by misery,
Yet gentle enough to lie on dandelions.
Your words make me feel like wild fires in love.
You write beautifully.
you’re not a bad person for the way you kill your sadness…
Each pill dissolving on your tongue, the way you wished your pain would.
But pain is not like people,
you can’t just talk it away,
And people aren’t simple,
you cannot force them to stay.
99 pills at once,
Like problems shoved down your throat.
Difficult to swallow.
Difficult to breathe.
life isn’t easy.
Death is a breeze.
your living pain is unbearable,
And you can’t wait to leave.
Coping, are your eyes,
Struggling to stay awake.
Starved is your heart,
Unable to eat joy.
Confused is your mind,
How could misery be so happy, when it always has you in mind.
No suicide note.
No one deserves to know how frozen their coldness left you.
How their ghostly words
that escaped their tongue
now haunt you-
Like you will now haunt them.
You’ve managed to stop the world from spinning.
Slowly floating away.
Never felt anything so great.
Embracing you body for the fight, maybe now, it too, will understand the scars you placed above every vain.
It too, will fully feel the pain you’ve been exposed to.
You hoping nothing goes wrong, because it’s way too right.
So light as a feather,
is this moment.
Unable to feel the ground.
You feel rest,
Drowning in peace.
As your troubled soul escapes from you
That no one is nearby to save you.
Happiness like this doesn’t last
It turns into pain of the past.
you clinch every single part of you.
With your last breath