Today, I read old letters I once wrote to past lovers…
It’s the words I wrote that truly spoke to me.
My love has always been silent but bold.
Silent Roar is what I call her.
I let my heart bleed on those pages in fear of my love being to large to digest.
I could never confront any lover without the fear of drowning them in my intensity.
I now see why my subconscious always drew me away from love.
She knew my love was daring, bold, submissive yet unapologetic.
I’ve always fallen too short of my own love.
It has taken me my whole life to grow into her Silent Roar.
A visual representation of protecting your peace & No, she does not drink 8 glasses of water a day.
Just occasional sips from her wine bottle.
words deployed during the hardest of times, when butterflies and tongue ties wouldn’t allow me to let you know how I feel… they don’t even bother to last long enough to form a sentence.
Fully aware that you pursue me in only in draped skies-
Because I am born of light.
When your own darkness consumes you
And you don’t have the desire to be devoured anymore
You knock on my door
And like the fool that I am- I open
With arms wide open
And a mind filled with naive thoughts that you won’t hurt me-
Yet you leave me in your darkness like you have before
Mind helplessly swimming in confusion
Unable to derifrienciate our demons
Because yours make themselves feel so much at home
In my own
They take up all the empty spaces, that I don’t even notice you leaving
You’re foolish for leaving me with your demons Because they will always find you
And wholely consume you
I am born of light, it’s only a matter of time before they’re blinded by me.
They find comfort in your solitude
Darkness is no Stranger to you
And you will come knocking on my door
And again, I’ll let you in
But this time
Leave your shoes and demons at the door
I am tired of your sole walking all over me.
I hate that you’re the one door I am unable to close
You drain me.
02 June 2016
I am black.
I don’t want to be constantly reminded that my skin is your least favourite colour;
I carry the aftermath of that war daily.
Today I had no desire to see the sun rise or set,
Oxygen was nothing short of an enemy.
Life seemingly unfamiliar
Drowning in regret
Floating in what could of been
Drowning in your scent…