Letter to 18 Year Old Me

May you never get lost seeking something you already possess in yourself.

You are phenomenal.

You are the magic.

You are blessed.

You are loved.

You don’t have to wait for permission to be your true self, because no one will give it to you. Self Discipline will get you miles further than Beauty and Brains.

The woman you desire to become won’t just spring up on you and surprise you, you have to work on her daily... you gotta let yourself breathe and relax when the world seems like it is too much, because it is gonna go on without you either way.

For the longest time I always believed that one day I’ll just wake up and be this remarkable woman… it’s been 8 years since, and that day hasn’t come because it doesn’t exist.

I began visualizing who she is, and each day, each situation I’d bring in elements of her which I admired and loved to see in myself. And this has taught me to show up as her. Most importantly, I’ve learned that it’s okay to reinvent myself as many times as possible.

You don’t owe anyone versions of yourself they don’t even know, like you do. Versions of you they may not even like, Versions of you they felt comfortable disrespecting,

Versions of you that fed their ego…

you don’t owe anyone anything. No one owes you anything. Babygirl, you gotta have your own back… first of all, it’s your back!

I’ve learned to tune people out when they put me in boxes I know I don’t tick or boxes that have old versions of me or boxes that have no business being in the same sentence as me.

I smile boldly every time someone tells me that I’ve changed, because I work too damn hard to stay the same.

I hope no one boldly talks you out of being yourself.

I hope you embrace the journey of finding yourself within.

And it only dawned on me today…

The beauty of life is the journey (it can be any journey) that leads you to different places, that allow you to search yourself and meet yourself deeply.

And I hope one day you understand this ♥️.

I will forever be grateful to The Young Legacy Empower Her Program for assigning me to my mentee, because it’s moments with her, that enable me to reach that much deeper in myself and reflect.

She had sent me a beautiful birthday message, and in the midst of me thanking her, I found myself writing a letter to 18 year old me and half way through I realized that this was probably what I needed when I was younger. There’s so much beauty in sharing your journey with young woman. I never take it for granted. There’s nothing more beautiful than wanting to see someone win so bad and be a being a part of that journey ♥️

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Black Women

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Black Woman.
Forever silenced and
Passed off as crazy.

Black Woman.
According to society,
We don’t have the right to feel beautiful…

Black Woman.
Our beauty and our intelligence are unrecognisable.

Black Woman.
Forever focused on what we lack.
And never what we have.

Black Woman.
The world has denied us of our beauty and turned it into a multi billion dollar industry.

Black Woman.
Relaxer, Extentions, Perms and Skin lightening lotions.
Which have caused more harm than good.

Black Woman.
Stipped off her complexion, natural kink and hairline!
Need I say more?

Black Woman.
“Less black” is perceived more classy.
Media publications, are too scared to lose the “white standard of beauty”.

Black Woman.
Effortlessly disclose the origins of the hair they place above their own.
But unable to tell you the texture of their own hair.

Black Woman.
Expressing how they hate the feel of their own hair growing.
Like those natural curls are something to be ashamed of.

Black Woman.
Never taught to love themselves for who we are.
And Society?
Never taught to accept us for who we are.

Black Woman.
Taught to compete amongst each other.
And feel inferior to woman of other colours.
Too busy tearing each other down.
Not realizing how much stronger we are in numbers.

Black Woman.
It’s acceptable for white women to embrace their sexuality,
But God forbid a black women do the same, or else she’s a hoe.

Black Woman.
They have turned their back on us

See…
I am both Black and a woman, I get combination slurs thrown at me

I’m not just a Nigger or a bitch to people.I am both and they do not hesitate to tell me so.

I don’t get a break. Ever. I have to fight for my womanhood, my Blackness, my humanity daily.

I don’t get the “luxury” of choosing just one. I am both. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Now and forever

And you know what? I don’t want to choose. I’ll never choose. You can never force me to choose.

My Blackness and my womanhood are both equally important to me and I will fight for both of them until the day I die.

♥ Kamiz

Daddy Issues

Why do you teach these boys to impregnate us and leave, and
Bow down on their knees to pale white feet, like they can’t even stand us?

If you’re lucky enough to have one be a part of your life. You get handed a undeserved proclaimed title of “Crazy Baby Momma”.

They place their chocolate dipped Moms on Golden pedestals.
Forgetting that they too may have gone through the same stuggles, but they were’t around to see it.

Dads’ absence, in their lives made their Moms stronger.
All they see in their mothers, are feet that have been firmly planted on the ground.
But when it comes to their Baby Mommas, all they sees is a storm with skin on.
Just Damage.
Little did they know that she is damaged.
Little did they know that they caused the damage.

But they don’t get it.

They use every opportunity they can get to slander her and her sisters.
Crazy stupid bitches. Dark. Ugly.
Then puts their chocolate dipped daughters on the same golden pedestal they put their mothers on.

I don’t get it.

♥ Kamiz