Cock Tease

I sit here and wonder why I am still single
I mean,
I’m a hopeless romantic,
With a slightly dirty mind,
Reasonably high standards,

Yet…

I’m still single.

Okay so, I recently went on a date,
And between the Mixed Berry Mojito and Nachos
My date managed to slip in a “Non-Offensive” comment which I almost chocked on actually,
‘Til I spat it out and chewed on it later that evening.

I could say a lot of things,
But in short, he called me a Cock Tease,
at that moment….
A part of me believed that I was.

Now according to the Urban Dictionary,

A Cock Tease means:

” a girl that leads a guy to believe that she’s going to have sex with him, then doesn’t.” 

But because I thirst for knowledge,
I continued reading…

Words like tease, slut, whore, skank, and tramp along…

No see, I really do not agree with those.

I am sitting trying to understand how not having sex with a guy automatically qualifies you to be a slut or whore.
But that’s a topic for another day.

Growning up,
I always found it rude when females would dismiss males,
Before they could even conclude their introduction.

I always wondered why they’d assume every guy wanted to get in their pants, before the poor guys could even state their intention.

See, when given a chance to do so,
Some males choke up in their “star struck” phase and aren’t even able to tell you their first name.
Others display a thousand reasons why we refer to males as dogs, or prove that wolves truly do come I sheep skin.
And others, well lets say, mom’s would be proud.

Now when a girl or woman is fully aware of the power she possess,
Whether it be in her face, her head, her curves, under her skirt or the way she flips her hair.
She will somehow take advantage of it.
Where it’s a mechanism to boost her self confidence that many believe she may already possess.
Or she’ll use her body and sexual organs to obtain materialistic things.

I get it, I’m a lil off topic
Let me just draw this closer to home…

Back to me,
Kamiz, the Cock Tease.
it doesn’t even rhyme…

Anyway,

I cannot help but think of all the times my “friendliness” had been taken out of context,
and occasionally gotten me into trouble.

See, when you engage some guys with a perfectly normal conversation, they tend to believe that you may interested, and that’s because many females barely do this.

From this, I found myself in many awkward situations, and telling guys off isn’t one of my strongest traits.

Now see,
I’ve always been taught to see the best in people…
Being Kind
Being loving
And compassionate.

So in many cases, I find myself unintentionally stringing a lot guys on.
And on good days my solar powered confidence my be perceived as sexiness.

I’ll admit,
Growning up, I wasn’t the most confident of beings
If anything, I found my confidence last year, in the mist of my independence.
And before then,
I’ll admit,
My confidence was powered by the heat of the passion ignited by the attention I’d receive from males at the verge of splitting my legs like Moses did the red sea, and just when feel I had received enough affirmation, I’d stop.
Yes this is the type of behaviour portrayed by a cock tease.

But now, I could really care less, because in the mist of pure, innocent confidence self love is a crucial factor.
I am no longer in pursuit of validation or affirmation.

I refuse to take responsibility for males reading my friendliness as an invitation of interest to engage in any form of sexual activity.

My Verdict:

I am Not A Cock Tease!

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Cherry Diary ( Pt 3)

“We’ve been vibing for a while now, we had chilled a couple of times with friends. He tells me that he’d like to ‘chill ;)’…
Surprisingly, I’m was home alone for the first time that weekend. I tell him to come through with a few blunts, believe Me, he CAME alright!
As we boarded the trippy flight, he explicitly tells me all the things he’s gonna do to me. That night, he introduces my inner thighs to his brittle beards and Me, to my inner freak. I see a side of my bed which seems unfamiliar. I dig sin deeply into his back and leave blood on the sheets, as he penetrates deeply from behind. Ultimately, my dignity was covered in cum shots”
I thought he liked me.

♥ Kamiz

Daddy’s little girl. . .

image

I need you now more than ever.

I’m wondering why you don’t check on me constantly or at least check how I’m living.
Teach me what it is to be a man, so that I could easily sass out all the counterfeits.   I’m doing it by myself, and I’m struggling. 
How many tears and heart breaks should I go through to just realise these boys arent good for me.

Just do your job and be my dad.

I don’t want to go back to referring to you as a sperm donor again.

♥ Kamiz

None of You

I’m getting all the right attention,
From all the wrong ones.
& all the wrong attention, 
From all the right ones.
Wishing to be fulfilled,
Yet satisfied by none.
image

Hoping one day, 
Mr right will come!
I just want You, 
But with his personality.
I just want you.
But you won’t do . . .

♥ Kamiz