This title carries so many uncertainties I no longer want to keep
Distributing my loneliness in every man I seek
It’s hard for me to admit to myself
And it’s not because I thought he was the one
I just chose him over many ones
And I assumed he’d do the same
I’m very certain this isn’t heart break
Because, my heart he didn’t take
But a part of me has feelings that I can no longer
– Still Stuck On One
I spent way too many hours in my own head.
Today I spent an equal amount in my bed.
Today was supposed to be like any ordinary day,
Lectures, friends, food and prayer.
Today was one of the days I felt everything all at once.
That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.
I kept it all together though, I kept it all in.
I’m drowning beneath the waves, emotions caved in.
I don’t know what’s worse, the pain in my heart or the fact that there are no tears escaping my eyes.
I finally understand though.
I’m a silent fighter.
If I ever saw my teardrops, escape from my eyes down to my cheeks, I’ll see parts of me which my tongue refuses to speak.
I thank God that I don’t look anything like my past.
I further thank Him my shadow isn’t as shady as my past