words deployed during the hardest of times, when butterflies and tongue ties wouldn’t allow me to let you know how I feel… they don’t even bother to last long enough to form a sentence.
I haven’t written for a very long time and I guess it’s because I’m still going through the many forms of hurt and pain and I don’t know how to express without actually hurting.
And I guess I also realised that people close to me go through my work and ask about it.
I Hate it.
I write because I don’t want to talk about it.
People don’t get that.
I remember why I actually started writing,
I had a lot of heaviness, I felt neglected and heavily betrayed by the only person I knew how to love the most.
I could have been many questionable things at that point of my life,
But I turned to my notebook.
Now here I am,
With somewhat of a trembling pen just trying to get my life together again
Because living half a life isn’t worth it anymore.
I just want to be
A L I V E
This is Chapter 2 of my life.
I’m asking to get in my emotions
When I stay up late…
I can’t help but wonder
With you there,
And me here,
If our thoughts will ever collide
In lonely moments…
You listen to music
Because your aim is to block out the world
Forget your problems
& have an opportunity to be carefree
I listen to music because
My own thoughts consume me
I’m numb to my emotions
I don’t have much feelings
I don’t trust my emotions
I’m not able to feel the way that you do
I dont easily express my emotion like ‘normal’ people do
I could never pour out my emotions
So don’t worry about me over flowing an ocean
So most times I come off as cold & mean
Even though it was never my intention,
Verbally expressing myself is something I can’t do
But give me a pen & paper
& I’ll show you
To you, it’s a bunch of words
To me, it’s my emotion
A lyrical canvas
Where I lay my emotions
So when I tell you to play my favourite song
I want you to listen
No, Really listen,
Yea, it has a sick beat and the voice is great
But I want you to hear my emotions…
Pen as Razor
Paper as Skin
Writing across my arm
Just for the thrill
Emotion as blood
As I let it all pour out
Hope one day they’ll see.
My poem as Life
I wanna do it right
Pen please don’t fail me..
Posting-It-Up as Death
It’s finally out
Hoping they’ll remember me…
Now the whole world gets to see…
The tears that I’ve cried
& how hope almost failed me.
This paper was gonna be read by the person who would’ve been a second too late to save my life…
But instead this paper saved me…
I no longer hold onto the pain
I jus grab a pen
I’m able to write my problems away…
Cut it up!
Do whatever want…
This is a story about how poetry saved my life…