Day 29: Becoming

Life always begins with becoming rather than finding.

Dating is not about finding the right person for your life.

Marriage is not about finding the perfect man or woman.

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Day 28: Binging on Christ

I dedicated yesterday to seeking God’s face.

I read a number of plans and scriptures on my Bible App that touched and moved me deeply.

All relevant to various areas of my life, but most importantly my spiritual pigsty.

Throughout the day of constantly seeking, knocking, praying and listening, I came across The spiritual warfare battle plan, http://bible.com/r/2Oi a 5 Day Plan on my Bible app.

I decided to share this because throughout my journey, I was truly amazed at how people responded to my journey.

Many of us are hurting, yearning and healing.

I truly pray that this speaks to you like it did to me.

Below, I’ve shared an Excerpts that truly spoke to me each day:

Day1: Keep this truth in mind: the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Every demon has the same mission. How they go about it—their strategies and tactics—are different. A spirit of fear attacks your faith, for example, while a spirit of rejection attacks your identity. Satan is strategic. His army is highly organized, and he is sending specific spirits against believers to derail them from their kingdom purpose.

Day 2: The spirit of Jezebel seeks to seduce and often works through teaching and prophecy. This spirit seduces the saints into idolatry and immorality. This spirit may use control and manipulation to do it, but ultimately that’s not the end game. Jezebel’s end game is murder. The wages of sin is death, and Jezebel leads people into sin.

I further studied the spirit of Jezebel.

Turns out that the Jezebel spirit is one of Satan’s higher-ranking, more intelligent demons if not the smartest kind of demon he has in his kingdom.

Below are some further studies:

Part 1: What is the Jezebel Spirit

https://www.bible-knowledge.com/the-jezebel-spirit-and-how-it-operates/

Part 2: The Ways in Which the Jezebel Spirit Will Operate

https://www.bible-knowledge.com/how-jezebel-spirit-will-operate/

Another enlightening read:

https://aandbcounseling.com/12-warning-signs-person-influence-jezebel-spirit/

Day 3: Prayer-Father, in the name of Jesus I come to You repenting of giving in to feelings of fear. I rebuke the spirit of fear that is working to entrap me, steal my faith, rob my peace, and otherwise riddle me with anxiety, in Christ’s name. I choose faith, trust, and love. I fear and trust the Lord only, in the name of the Christ. Amen.

Day 4: Bitterness is deadly. Over time, bitterness will defile our spirits and dull our ability to sense the presence of God or hear His voice. If you are mad at God, be honest with Him. Give Him your anger, and He will turn that anger into peace and a greater revelation of His sovereignty if you will let Him.

I was also moved by the prayer:

Lord, I choose to forgive those who hurt me, offended me, abused me, despitefully used me, or wronged me. Help me, Lord, to recognize the enemy’s strategy to trap me in resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness. Help me not to hold people’s sins against them. Teach me to avoid responding with a judgmental heart when I am hurting. Heal my emotions and renew a right spirit within me. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

Day 5: Breaking the power of vicious circles is often a matter of making better choices, but when it’s a demonic cycle you need to identify the imaginations and wrong thought patterns that are allowing wicked spirits to wreak havoc on your life. 

Go forth, spiritual warrior, with praise in your heart and prayer on your lips, dressed for battle. The battle belongs to the Lord, and the devil will flee seven ways. He has no choice when you submit yourself to God and resist him. No demon in hell is stronger than a will aligned with the Word of God. God’s grace floods the soul that seeks first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

-I’m so glad that I’ve been focusing on old habits and patterns to find healing. A part of me felt like I was wasting my time, another party of me didn’t even want to dig deeper, in fear of numerous things.

There is so much power in identifying your patterns and what thoughts you break into when certain events or human encounters occur.

Be mindful of where you mind wonders off to when you’re left alone with your own thoughts.

Be mindful of where your mind wonders off to in the presence of certain people and occurrences.

Don’t foolishly allow your imagination to whisk itself off with pieces of you and your faith, only to replace them with doubt and fear.

Be mindful and vigilant.

Always guard your thoughts and faith.

Day 19: Truth

I’ve reflected on my Love Redefined series so far and learned that I robbed myself deeply.

I’ve been too scared to articulate my pain, I realized that I’ve literally scratched various surfaces in the hopes of finding solace, only to drown my thoughts in confusion.

Truth is, the only pieces I can fully relate to is Value, Love Letter, 4am & Silent Prayer.

I’m scared to dig deep because that means dragging childhood monsters that have now grown into emotional strongholds, triggering habits, unhealthy patterns and toxic relationships.

It also means hurting the ones that I love with honesty and confrontation. Admitting and accepting that they actually hurt me, instead of merely sweeping the pain under the carpet.

Because ultimately, that pain translates to other avenues get released in the form of miscommunication, poor decisionmaking, turning down love and feeling inadequate in love.

Day 11: Love Letter

Today, I read old letters I once wrote to a past lovers…

It’s the words I wrote that truly spoke to me.

My love has always been silent but bold.

Silent Roar is what I call her.

I let my heart bleed on those pages in fear of my love being to large to digest.

I could never confront any lover without the fear of drowning them in my intensity.

I now see why my subconscious always drew me away from love.

She knew my love was daring, bold, submissive yet unapologetic.

I’ve always fallen too short of my own love.

It has taken me my whole life to grow into her Silent Roar.