Letter to 18 Year Old Me

May you never get lost seeking something you already possess in yourself.

You are phenomenal.

You are the magic.

You are blessed.

You are loved.

You don’t have to wait for permission to be your true self, because no one will give it to you. Self Discipline will get you miles further than Beauty and Brains.

The woman you desire to become won’t just spring up on you and surprise you, you have to work on her daily... you gotta let yourself breathe and relax when the world seems like it is too much, because it is gonna go on without you either way.

For the longest time I always believed that one day I’ll just wake up and be this remarkable woman… it’s been 8 years since, and that day hasn’t come because it doesn’t exist.

I began visualizing who she is, and each day, each situation I’d bring in elements of her which I admired and loved to see in myself. And this has taught me to show up as her. Most importantly, I’ve learned that it’s okay to reinvent myself as many times as possible.

You don’t owe anyone versions of yourself they don’t even know, like you do. Versions of you they may not even like, Versions of you they felt comfortable disrespecting,

Versions of you that fed their ego…

you don’t owe anyone anything. No one owes you anything. Babygirl, you gotta have your own back… first of all, it’s your back!

I’ve learned to tune people out when they put me in boxes I know I don’t tick or boxes that have old versions of me or boxes that have no business being in the same sentence as me.

I smile boldly every time someone tells me that I’ve changed, because I work too damn hard to stay the same.

I hope no one boldly talks you out of being yourself.

I hope you embrace the journey of finding yourself within.

And it only dawned on me today…

The beauty of life is the journey (it can be any journey) that leads you to different places, that allow you to search yourself and meet yourself deeply.

And I hope one day you understand this ♥️.

I will forever be grateful to The Young Legacy Empower Her Program for assigning me to my mentee, because it’s moments with her, that enable me to reach that much deeper in myself and reflect.

She had sent me a beautiful birthday message, and in the midst of me thanking her, I found myself writing a letter to 18 year old me and half way through I realized that this was probably what I needed when I was younger. There’s so much beauty in sharing your journey with young woman. I never take it for granted. There’s nothing more beautiful than wanting to see someone win so bad and be a being a part of that journey ♥️

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Day 11: Love Letter

Today, I read old letters I once wrote to past lovers…

It’s the words I wrote that truly spoke to me.

My love has always been silent but bold.

Silent Roar is what I call her.

I let my heart bleed on those pages in fear of my love being to large to digest.

I could never confront any lover without the fear of drowning them in my intensity.

I now see why my subconscious always drew me away from love.

She knew my love was daring, bold, submissive yet unapologetic.

I’ve always fallen too short of my own love.

It has taken me my whole life to grow into her Silent Roar.

I want you…


“I fucken want you and I want to be about you.”

Shouted out to the man of my dreams.

The man created by me in my head.

He lives.

He’s real.

He owns his body,

But the rest of him was created by me.

And I want him!

Dammit, I want him SO bad…

I wanna wrap my legs around him

And dig my fingers into him.
First time I woke thinking about someone either than me,

There’s no reason for us not to be together 

Besides the fact that he’s acting up…

I want to be around him.

I want our bodies in such close proximity that our bodies confuse sweat.

I want him and I want him in every possible way there is to want a human

Bare in mind that I want him, not need him,

And if he doesn’t want to be wanted in every possible way,

He should Allow me to leave.

I’ll take my heart with me and learn to bare a little less the next time….

Is This Really The End? (part 6)

No joy comes from being the other woman.
Lust will never be enough to sustain you.

LaurakinsTrain

You beg and plead. I even have you on your knees But that won’t change my mind. She needs to know EVERYTHING!!

You get angry. A volcano of emotions explode all over your body. Trying to scare me with your Hulk like anger. Baby you wouldn’t even harm a fly. What makes you think you would lay a hand on me?

[Remember when you’d strut around like a god? When the world was at your feet and what you desired, you got. Your gloating to your homies- you got them both. Puny god…]

You gather your stuff and leave like a wounded puppy.

I’m left alone with my thoughts. I’m ready to tell. I want her to know about our sins and secrets. This heavy load on my shoulders is weighing me down. Am I ready to ruin our friendship? I’m not ready to cast dark clouds over HER happy…

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