Day 11: Love Letter

Today, I read old letters I once wrote to a past lovers…

It’s the words I wrote that truly spoke to me.

My love has always been silent but bold.

Silent Roar is what I call her.

I let my heart bleed on those pages in fear of my love being to large to digest.

I could never confront any lover without the fear of drowning them in my intensity.

I now see why my subconscious always drew me away from love.

She knew my love was daring, bold, submissive yet unapologetic.

I’ve always fallen too short of my own love.

It has taken me my whole life to grow into her Silent Roar.

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I want you…


“I fucken want you and I want to be about you.”

Shouted out to the man of my dreams.

The man created by me in my head.

He lives.

He’s real.

He owns his body,

But the rest of him was created by me.

And I want him!

Dammit, I want him SO bad…

I wanna wrap my legs around him

And dig my fingers into him.
First time I woke thinking about someone either than me,

There’s no reason for us not to be together 

Besides the fact that he’s acting up…

I want to be around him.

I want our bodies in such close proximity that our bodies confuse sweat.

I want him and I want him in every possible way there is to want a human

Bare in mind that I want him, not need him,

And if he doesn’t want to be wanted in every possible way,

He should Allow me to leave.

I’ll take my heart with me and learn to bare a little less the next time….

Is This Really The End? (part 6)

No joy comes from being the other woman.
Lust will never be enough to sustain you.

LaurakinsTrain

You beg and plead. I even have you on your knees But that won’t change my mind. She needs to know EVERYTHING!!

You get angry. A volcano of emotions explode all over your body. Trying to scare me with your Hulk like anger. Baby you wouldn’t even harm a fly. What makes you think you would lay a hand on me?

[Remember when you’d strut around like a god? When the world was at your feet and what you desired, you got. Your gloating to your homies- you got them both. Puny god…]

You gather your stuff and leave like a wounded puppy.

I’m left alone with my thoughts. I’m ready to tell. I want her to know about our sins and secrets. This heavy load on my shoulders is weighing me down. Am I ready to ruin our friendship? I’m not ready to cast dark clouds over HER happy…

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F 4 u – fela ella

I just wanted you that one time. That that one stroke

That one night.

That last kiss, that last cuddle. 

You’re trying to talk about how much you want me forever but my eyes roll and I scream for you to touch me there..

I know I won’t want you later or care for your feelings. 

I never have, never fucking will..

Just keep me company, hold me while I dig into you.

lust for me like you love me, then leave me without your name. 

Your confessions of love make me sick.

I don’t want you, I just want him, his tenderness his negativity his everything. 

I’m fucked up and you don’t even realise. My arms hurt from the slicing, my lungs hurt from the smoking. 

My heart aches to hear your voice again, so that you can tell me that you love me.

and I’ll lie and tell you that “I love you too.”

Fela Ella

♥ Kamiz