Dear Destroyer

You took a huge part of me & ran away,
When were you planning on telling me?

In your head, I was just a phase.
You should have fucking told me.
 
The only reason I don’t let people in,
Is because I hate how they always up and leave.
No goodbyes,
Just up and out as they please.

I was honestly on the verge of blaming myself, thinking my emotional flaws pushed you away.

I thought maybe those couple of days weren’t my “Fully Me” days.

But is wasn’t me, was it?
It was you who pushed yourself away.

Unfortunately I’m not the type that forces people to stay.

You got me so close to letting my walls fall down, so many times I felt them shake.

Labelled you “too good to be true”, now I can see your Knight and Shining amour Silhouette was fake.

Okay, no I’m lying…

But I can’t believe that you used the oldest trick in the book as your bloody bait.  

Better yet, I can’t believe I fell for it.

It was a matter of time before your dirty colours escaped.
I’m glad I didn’t witness the kaleidoscope of your chaos.

I guess it’s not much irony that the climax of our in betweens was the actual climax between the sheets.

Or I guess it was dramatic irony, because as your actress to a play I didn’t even audition for, I was never clued that my character was foolish and lacked self-awareness.

I would have never taken the role if you didn’t present it and under false pretence.

But honestly, I wouldn’t have let you hit it when you did.

I can’t help but let the little laughs escape my breath when I realise that you’re mature act was just part of your masquerade.

Never in a million years would I ( under normal circumstances) thought I’d ever be at the receiving end of your childish outburst.     
    
Ohh, and that thing you took from me? You’re welcome to keep it, in fact, keep this little poem as your damn receipt. No returns though. I want you to keep it.

P.S
If you wanted me to write warmly about you, you should have acted better.

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Stranger

I don’t know why I’m writing this,
But it kinda feels good…

I know you’re somewhere out there 
Probably reading this…

I’m assuming you’re a Stranger 
Who probably knows nothing about me
Because for long, those closest to me didnt even know I write poetry. 

So any judgments you make of me
Will be based on this poem,
Or perhaps the other poems I’ve written.
I like that!

I like how I can slightly control what you think of me.
Showing you my good,
My bad,
Or what you may regard as My ugly.

I like the idea of you formulating your opinion about me, based on that alone.

I know this won’t make much sense…
But I truly appreciate you & your presence.
I appreciate you taking time off your busy life,
Just to read words that I’ve managed to rip off my chest,  
Because those closest to me,
Those who swear they love me, 
Just don’t have the time… 

That’s what I like about you I guess
The fact that you’re here 
Actually giving a damn about me,
Or at least leading me an ear… 

At this very moment in time,
I can be anyone I want to be
Just to create the perfect first impression,
But instead,
I choose to be myself.
I’d like to have a chance to be loved for who, I am for once.
Even if it’s just for a moment..
I may never feel it,
But that mere thought will keep me going.

Either way Stranger,
I thank you… 
I thank for allowing me 
To make my first impression on you, 
For giving me a chance to start over,
For somehow making me feel loved…

We’ll probably never meet 
Or cross paths again…
This will probably eventually fade from your memories before dusk falls or the sun rises.
And I Will probably forget that I ever wrote this.  
but in this moment
Or souls have collided, 
And we will never be, like we once were…